<3

Let's start with something funny?

I don't remember when is the last time I cried. I used to cry so much abt anything, basically an emotional cry baby. But I don't remember since when I stopped crying, even during my emotional times. I can't tell if this is a good or bad thing. But today I let it all out. I wasn't having alot of tears, but I can feel pain though. It feels like am losing someone again.

Someone once told me in order for you to live the fullest, you should count backwards, as to what you gonna do or what you want to be remember by when you die? I think I take it another way. Now basically whenever I feel like I can't make a decision, or just overall pissssss or just occupied by so many stupid stuff and people, I ask myself if am gonna die right now, what is the last thing I want in my mind? Those disgusting motherchuckers assholes? Noooo the fucking way.

Can I be strong but still wanting a shoulder to lean on? I don't mean it romantically. I just want someone I can lean my shoulder on, to depend on, for just that 5 mins. I'm tired.

I miss my dad.